April 2019


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Shoot your Shot


What is shoot your shot?
This was my question to a friend with whom I could openly display my ignorance of vernacular colloquialisms.

I have been on an almost 2 year social media hiatus so I am completely oblivious to the latest popular argot. It’s so bad that I look really confused when everyone else is laughing at the use of one of these jargon.

Back to the earlier conversation, she laughed and explained that “shoot your shot” means to take a wild chance on something or at someone and just do it or go for it without regard for the eventual outcome.
That it was a chance you took when the probability for success was not exactly high but you did it anyway because it just might work.

It was like flipping coins and hoping for a favorable outcome.

The most fascinating part of the entire nuance of this expression is even if it didn’t work, there was no love lost and when it was a positive outcome, it was a pleasant surprise.

In its barest essence, It was a sort of testing the waters kinda thing and hoping you could either swim or sail.

So I thought about it deeply (because to me everything just becomes deep 😉☺) and somehow my mind always makes scriptural connections to random things.
I thought about the king in ancient Jewish lore who went to the renowned prophet of the time…
I will let you have a firsthand version below:

Elisha came down sick. It was the sickness of which he would soon die. Jehoash king of Israel paid him a visit. When he saw him he wept openly, crying, “My father, my father! Chariot and horsemen of Israel!”
Elisha told him, “Go and get a bow and some arrows.” The king brought him the bow and arrows. Then he told the king, “Put your hand on the bow.” He put his hand on the bow.
Then Elisha put his hand over the hand of the king. Elisha said, “Now open the east window.” He opened it. Then he said, “Shoot!” And he shot. “The arrow of God ’s salvation!” exclaimed Elisha. “The arrow of deliverance from Aram! You will do battle against Aram until there’s nothing left of it.”
“Now pick up the other arrows,” said Elisha. He picked them up. Then he said to the king of Israel, “Strike the ground.” The king struck the ground three times and then quit.
The Holy Man became angry with him: “Why didn’t you hit the ground five or six times? Then you would beat Aram until he was finished. As it is, you’ll defeat him three times only.”
2 Kings 13:14‭-‬19 MSG

There are a gazillion insights to glean from this event but we would narrow in on the following.

• Epic Instructions always precede Epic Seasons.
We have had epic instructions preceding 2019. How have we fared in obeying to the letter?
God also speaks daily, do we pay attention to listen and obey?

• Epic Obedience to Epic Instructions must be done with Epic Importunity.
Importunity is persistence to the point of annoyance. Let your persistence in obeying instructions become so consistent that it becomes annoying.

• Permanent Victories are borne on the back of Complete Obedience to Epic Instructions.
Jesus said “It is finished” because His obedience was complete. In His complete obedience, we have permanent victory.

• In the Kingdom Shooting our Shot is not a blind exercise in luck or probability, it is an intentional action underpinned by a revelation of God’s word/promise to you either in scriptures or by prophecy.
Think deeply, what shots do you need to take?
God won’t shoot your shot for you.
You have a quiver full of arrows (skills, instructions, words, scriptures, tools, talents,… insert others)

What would you do with it now?
How would you deploy it in your own unique situation?
In my life currently, I am continuing to shoot my shot by insisting on my change and upgrade till I am too stretched to go back.

I give a habit or thought intense focus till I completely recondition myself to a new way of thinking and behaviour.

You may say:
What if I do not have any instruction yet?
What if all I have is a promise?

Isaiah 62: 6-7 AMPC says
I have set watchmen upon your walls, O Jerusalem, who will never hold their peace day or night; you who [are His servants and by your prayers] put the Lord in remembrance [of His promises], keep not silence, And give Him no rest until He establishes Jerusalem and makes her a praise in the earth

There you have it. Even God says you should continue to “Shoot your shot and strike the ground” till you receive establishment.

Parrot His words back to Him, stay rejoicing, stay giving, stay forgiving, and stay studying.

Let Shoot your Shot take on a different meaning for you from now on – Shoot your shot continuously, strike the ground consistently because permanent victory is assured to us in our importune and complete obedience.

To Permanent Victories!

Written by Ariel Qu.




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It is noteworthy for us as humans to pay close attention to our moods and the habits we consciously and unconsciously form. The reason is because there can be spiritual dimensions to these things. Once we discern and consistently notice an unpleasant pattern, it is advisable that we pause and determine what the pattern is about plus where is the pattern coming from, hence, we take a stand against it.

Making up of one’s mind, determination, will-power, and so on are relevant self-help steps to take a stand against some unpleasant habits. However, it is necessary to point out that some of these habits are spiritually influenced, hence, they should be handled in the same light.
Romans 7:19-24

For instance, individuals slip into depression gradually and the depression becomes a stronghold they can’t easily snap out from. An individual might be in a very sociable mood at a moment and express an uncontrollable outburst of anger the next moment.

The wild anger some parents exhibit in the home front is an unpleasant instance here. At times, spouses take out their road rage on their better half. At times, children are not spared as they are at the receiving end also.

Though some of these negative outbursts/habits are spiritually influenced by the chief enemy ‘Satan’ because the thief comes to steal, and to kill and to destroy…… however, there is good news of our total freedom. Halleluyah!!!

In John 10:10b, Jesus says I have come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

The good news is that that controlling spirit can be destroyed. We can break that control!
There is a way out in God! Once we make up our mind to be responsible under God to break off these negative controls, our victory is sure.

Responsibility is the price for greatness as someone said.
Break up your fallow grounds!
“The violent taketh it by force”, as we read in Matthew 11:12b
It is a fight! It is a battle!

Let’s cast off the works of darkness in our homes.

Please, can we say these prayers over our homes?

1. We cast off every controlling spirit over our lives and in our homes in Jesus name.
Mark 16:17

2. Let’s command that they enter no more into our lives and homes.
Mark 9:25
Bible verses: Colossians 3:8-12, Mark 1:27

You have the victory in Jesus name!

Writer: Bukonla Fadahunsi

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Mummy, I am hungry”
“Mummy, can you please help me with my assignment”
“Mummy, please help me clean my butt”
“Sweetheart” or “Mummy” (in dad’s voice) do you know where my tie is?

And you will find mummy everywhere in the house, attending to ALL.
Think about this for a moment: mummy, mama, mum, mumsi, mumski – whichever way you called your mother or are now called by your children – that name is used so frequently in the home by everyone much more than any other name.
Before long, you find yourself yelling “leave me alone” “I need rest” “am I the only one in this house” “I also have a mummy”
Hey! You see, you just called mummy yourself, so it is clear that MOTHERHOOD is an UNENDING JOURNEY.
Motherhood, I dare to say, is not restricted to women with biological children. The day you came out of your mother’s womb as a girl, the journey of “mumhood” began. You are a mother as a teacher, a neighbor, a friend, a wife, a sister, a colleague… WHAT A PRECIOUS GIFT IT IS TO BE A MOTHER.
However, this journey can be very OVERWHELMING if you do not tread on the right path with the right guide. Which brings me to this point: In every home, there is also a daddy, right? And i am referring to both the physical daddy, your spouse, and the Spiritual daddy, God. You have a guide for this journey and that guide is God. You also have a helper in your spouse.
Sweetheart, you are a MUMMY WITH A DADDY. You have a Father who treasures you, shapes you for this journey, calls you unto Himself, wires and equipped every fiber of you with the strength for the journey.
Ironically, many of us have heard over and over again that the world was made to be unfair to women. As much as we strive to debunk that lie, we may find ourselves unconsciously living our lives based on this mindset. Woman, when you are told “you are worth more than gold”, BELIEVE IT! it is not an encouraging statement, IT IS AN ABSOLUTE TRUTH.
Woman, be like Mary who told the angel of God, “behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it unto me according to thy word”. Make God the driver of your life. Mary committed her journey through Motherhood into God’s hands and God shaped her life. When God told her she was chosen to be the mother of THE SAVIOR, she did not argue or question God. Instead she surrendered. Let this be your posture today, mum. Say to Him “ God, you Hand-made me for this journey. Let it be ruled by your will, you are my guide and driver in this journey.”
Precious and beautiful woman, you cannot afford to JUST DO IT yourself (it is not Nike). You need your daddy all the way through.
Are you being a super mum? Trying to do it all by yourself even when you know you need help? Ask for help today – from your spouse and God. Stop trying to do it all by yourself. Hand over the wheels to God and allow your husband play his role as a father and husband. Give yourself a treat, relax in His hands and know that God will take you there safe and sound. Stop trying to exhaust yourself from the shouting game, playing nice to avoid being hated, sacrificial lamb business… God knows the whole of it, let Him guide you. While everyone is calling mummy, mummy and you feel like falling apart, fret not! (That is your name), ask for help!
Mum, you have been graced for this journey but you are not meant to walk the path alone. Do you have a sick child? A difficult teenager? An energy- consuming toddler? “Teacher repellent” child? Whatever the category is, learn to ask for help today!

Article written by Sandra Ufuoma Onojetah

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For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom.” Gal 5:14 (MSG)

Ever wondered why this instruction was repeated several times in the Scriptures? I know I have.
Love permeates the fibers of Christianity. It is evident by the example laid by our Lord Jesus when he so selflessly gave up his life for our sins. As Christians, we have a responsibility to live a Christ-like life. We have been given the nature of God when we were saved by grace, therefore, we have the capacity to love.
In Matthew 22: 36-39, Jesus sets out the two greatest commandments – Love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind; and love your neighbour as yourself.
As Christians, how can we love others selflessly? By being our brother’s sister’s keeper.
The first reference in the Bible to the art of being our brother’s sister’s keeper can be found in the story of Cain and Abel. In Gen 4: 3-12, we read about Adam and Eve’s first two children – Cain and Abel. Cain was the first born, he worked as a farmer. Abel, on the other hand, was a shepherd. In due time, they both brought their offerings to the Lord – Cain brought some of his fruit produce while Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flocks.
Notice how the Bible described their gifts? Cain brought some of the fruits, while Abel brought fat portions from the firstborn of his flocks. Now, the Lord found Abel’s sacrifice acceptable but not Cain’s sacrifice. Of course, Cain was not too pleased about this development, in fact, he was very angry. The Lord warned Cain,
“Why this tantrum? Why the sulking? If you do well, won’t you be accepted? And if you don’t do well, sin is lying in wait for you, ready to pounce. It’s out to get you, you’ve got to master it.”
(Gen 4: 6-7 MSG).
Did Cain take God’s warning seriously? He sure did not, because the next thing we read about him is how he lured his brother out to the fields and killed him.
Now I can imagine how many of us are clicking our tongues at this point, shaking our heads at Cain – silently judging him. Do you know that many of us have walked the same path as Cain? How do you love your brothers sisters? Do you pull them up or tear them down? Do you cheer them on through their successes and provide them with a solid shoulder to lean on during their difficult times? Do you respect them, love them, support them and encourage them? Do you judge them silently when they are struggling with sin or intercede for them? Are you the first one to spread bad gossip about a terrible thing that has befallen your brothers sisters? After Cain killed his brother, the Lord asked him about Abel’s whereabouts. Cain told the Lord, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”. How many of us have given the same answer to the Lord when the Holy Spirit nudges us about a fellow brother sister, or do you lend a hand to the brother sister in need?
While many of us have not physically murdered our brothers sisters like Cain did, our actions and words have had the same effect on them. What God require from us is to love our brother sister as we love ourselves. Our manual on how to love each other is set out in 1 Corinthians 13: 1-10 (MSG):
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate
If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day and if I have faith that says to the mountain, “Jump” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.
If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have
Love doesn’t strut
Doesn’t have a swelled head
Doesn’t force itself on others
Isn’t always “me first”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back, but keeps going to the end.
Love never dies.

God wants us to love our neighbour the same way we love ourselves, the same way Christ loved the church. That instruction is a tough one to achieve, humanly as man’s innate desire is to be selfish and think only of himself. But this is why Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us into all truth. (John 16:13). When the Holy Spirit dwells within us, loving the Christ-way becomes effortless because love is a fruit of the spirit.

First, remember that love is proactive. In today’s world, everyone is busy pursuing their daily bread and trying to make ends meet that people forget to be kind to one another. Slow down today and listen to the Spirit, be sensitive enough to be aware of God’s push to be a source of blessing for your neighbour.

Second, be responsive. When you notice your neighbour is in need, what do you do? Turn your eyes away and tell yourself someone else will help him out? Or do you immediately start to find out ways you can be of service to him or her?

Third, be observant. Sometimes, people are in dire need around you but have not verbalized their silent cry for help. It might be a prayer need, encouragement need, financial need or emotional support that your neighbour needs, but if you are too caught up in yourself, you will fail to notice the warning signs.

Forth, be compassionate. Don’t be eager to listen to ‘juicy’ gossip about your neighbour just to satisfy your curiosity. Be careful about jumping to conclusions or judging them for their failings. Remember to remove the log in your own eyes before removing the speck in your neighbour’s eyes. Put yourself in their shoes. If you cannot empathise, be compassionate.

Five, know that it will cost you. Love is a costly venture. It will take your time, your money, your emotions and other resources. Be ready to give without holding back when you choose to love your neighbour. Love is inopportune, it does not wait for the most convenient time for you. Be ready to suffer inconvenience when you love Christ-way.
Take a moment today to check yourself. What is your Love Quotient? Are you loving your neighbours right?

Writer: Tomilola Adebiyi

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If you have recently applied for a job, you would have most likely come across the ‘Add Cover Letter’ section. In today’s job market, it is no longer sufficient to have a detailed and well-written resume. More often than not, a typical job posting will receive several applications, perhaps equally qualified. The cover letter gives the employer an opportunity to get to know their candidates better and whittle down the number of applicants to the few candidates that will be invited for an interview.
How can you stand out from the multitude of applications sent in for your dream job? We will be discussing at a few Dos and Don’ts in this article.
Don’t use a blanket cover letter for every single job you apply to.
Let’s face it… that action reeks of pure laziness.
Remember that your cover letter conveys a ‘first impression’ about who you are to the employer. You do not want to be so bland and common in this highly important piece of communication.
To write an outstanding cover letter, DO pay close attention to the job advertisement, especially the skills, duties and responsibilities listed out in the job advertisement. Look at the job advertisement as the prototype candidate that the employer is looking for, and then tailor your listed skills and experience to fit into these requirements.
I know how frustrating and time consuming it is to prepare a separate cover letter for every single job, trust me, I have been there. In the last three years of my life, I am sure that I must have applied to more than 200 jobs (and I believe that is a modest figure) and written separate cover letters for each job application. One lesson that I learnt through this process is that ‘practice makes perfect’. With each cover letter written and fine-tuned, you find that you get better at writing compelling cover letters until you have perfected the art of selling yourself.
Don’t use free cover letter samples available online verbatim
Trust me, if you found it, someone else will too.
I currently work in a role that requires me to do some hiring for positions within the organization. Sitting on the side of the table has opened my eyes to see some of the reasons why some well-qualified applicants do not get the job. One of these reasons is applying with a completely generic cover letter lacking any personality or flavor. Sample cover letters are just there as a guide. If you have no clue how to build your cover letter, I recommend looking at a few sample cover letters online to get an idea of the general structure. However, be sure to make your cover letter authentic and personal.
Do review your cover letter several times, then get a fresh pair of eyes to go over them for you
Typos are an unforgivable sin for recruiters
It is important that you do not send off your cover letter immediately you finish writing it. I have a rule for any important document that I prepare – I wait until the next day to review them one more time, then print them out for a second review before handing them off to a third party to look through for me. Where I cannot find a third party to review, I wait one more day to review it before sending it out.
Of course, I have had to send out documents in a hurry on occasion due to an important deadline, but as much as possible, I give myself sufficient time to do a thorough review.
Typographical errors are unacceptable in a cover letter. Simple and clear. You cannot be telling a recruiter how detail-oriented you are in a cover letter full of typos. I think this point is clear enough.
Do make your cover letter short and sweet.
Less is more, in this context
Applicants struggle with keeping the content of the cover letter succinct but a great cover letter should be no longer than 1 page. Make sure that none of the information stated on your cover letter has already been set out in your resume. A cover letter should complement your resume.
Streamline the gist in your cover letter to the specific job you are applying to and how you are the best candidate for that job. Highlight your strengths and examples of prior experience handling similar roles. Tell the company how you can be an asset to the team and how the role will help take you to the next level in your career. This is not to talk about your weakness – you can do that at the interview – this is the time to emphasize all your strengths in a few words. Think of your cover letter as your sales pitch to the employer – Sell yourself.

Now let’s talk about the basic structure of a cover letter:
Make sure that you use the same font as used in your resume. Use a simple and easy to read font. The common fonts are Calibri, Arial, Verdana and Times New Roman. The general font sizes are between 10 to 12 points with standard margins 1 inch on all sides of the page. Add a space between the header, salutation, each paragraph, the closing and your signature. When you have signed your cover letter, save your file as a PDF document if you are applying by email. This helps keep the formatting intact when the employer opens the document on their computer as they may have an older or newer version of Microsoft Word that may mess up your formatting.
The Header and Salutation
Include your correct contact information as well as the employer’s contact information. Put the date after your address. I would generally write my contact information in the headnote section of the letter, like a letterhead paper so my date appears before the hiring manager’s address.
Sometimes, the job advertisement will not include the hiring manager’s name or the full address of the employer. Where that happens, a little detective work can put you ahead of the other applicants. Search for the employer online to find their full address, then search for their human resources manager. If you are unable to find the name of the human resources manager, use the title alone “Human Resources Manager” “Hiring Manager” “Hiring Committee” as the case may be.
If you are applying by email, be sure to include your contact information at the end, after your signature.
Introduce yourself and mention the role you are applying for. Include information on how you found out about the opening. Tell the employer that you are a qualified candidate for the job based on your background and express your interest in the organization. State a specific reason why you are interested in this specific job. A good resource to find tips on a cover letter is The Balance Careers website (www.thebalancecareers.com).
In not more than three paragraphs, set out your interest in the job position and why you are the best candidate for the job. This is where attention to the details in the job posting comes in. Look carefully at every skill or attribute set out in the job posting and explain how you meet those qualifications. Set out specific examples of how you have displayed these skills in previous employment.
Start strong, finish strong.
This is your chance to remind the employer how perfectly you would fit into the role. Emphasize what you bring to the table and how the job will help you achieve your career goals. Thank the employer for their consideration and state that you are available to discuss the opportunity further.
Use a formal letter closing, for example – Sincerely, Yours sincerely, Yours truly, Best regards etc. If you have an electronic version of your signature, use it, followed by your typed name. If you do not have an electronic signature, print out the letter and sign it in your handwriting.

Finding the dream job involves a lot of work and one way to stand out from the crowd is to prepare an excellent cover letter. Take the time to get this right and you will find yourself closer to your dream job.

Article written by Tomilola  Adebiyi

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Once upon a time, we were dead in sin, dead to Christ and could not grasp the things of the Spirit. Then, we came into the knowledge of Christ and received the nature of God. It became a walk to maturity for us to understand, recognize and follow His voice.

And the sheep recognize the voice of the true Shepherd, for he calls his own by name and leads them out, for they belong to him.”
‭‭John‬ ‭10:3‬ ‭TPT‬‬

This brings us to the purpose of obedience in our journey to becoming more like Christ everyday.

Why do we obey? Many times we obey because we believe there is a reward waiting for us. This is absolutely true- there is a reward for obedience- but only if we begin to view God’s nudges and stirrings in our hearts as our chance to come into a life that is pliable to God’s will.

Obeying even the simplest nudge from God is a pathway that leads us to perceiving Him readily so that it is easier to obey Him the next time. Soon, God becomes the beginning and endpoint of our lives and all we seek to do is to obey Him. Obeying God gives us the opportunity to worship Him with our lives and not solely for the reward. Our eyes begin to open to new possibilities as we become aware that this ability to hear God and follow His leading is a miracle in itself. We find out that our constant and consistent obedience to Him opens up our hearts to become more supple, easily moved, easily stretched and malleable, making it easier to obey the next instruction. Obedience leads us to a place of absolute surrender where God has wanted us all along.

Beloved friends, what should be our proper response to God’s marvelous mercies? I encourage you to surrender yourselves to God to be his sacred, living sacrifices. And live in holiness, experiencing all that delights his heart. For this becomes your genuine expression of worship.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:1‬ ‭TPT‬‬

The more we obey God, the more we come into an understanding that whatever God commands us to do will ultimately lead us into His best for us and that to be outside of Him is a dangerous place. We develop intimacy with the Father as we fellowship with, and pursue the Father’s heart.

Decide today to obey every nudge from God, no matter how small or insane it may seem and soon you will come into a place of constant communion with the Father.

Written by Omolara Kolawole

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As we journey on through life, it is critical to be joyful women, because women carry a powerful deposit of emotion beyond logic and if your emotion is untouched by joy, your life may lack motivation. Joy gives the soul a reason to go on and it is the best makeover the spirit can get.

While humans were busy discovering cars that run on water, and other interesting things in life, we stumbled on some timeless truths and fun facts about joy and the believing woman and thought to share with you.

Did you know that:

Joy is a spiritual force field that is beyond an emotion. It is a spiritual impartation that can radiate from our spirits into our souls and find expression in our daily living.

Joy is the outward expression of our inward experience, it is the lifestyle of the believer. It is Faith smiling or maybe more aptly, laughing Faith.

Joy is a secret God shares with you. Sometimes, you don’t even understand what’s up with you but you can’t help the taste of delight in your spirit.

Joy finds you; it is mostly not a place you go, it’s a cloud that comes to you. It’s a powerful cloud that moves over your spirit and propels you.

Joy births God’s glory and allows you experience God!

Depression is like a dark cloak over the spirit. Joy is like the veils are lifted and revelation comes to you!

Faith is a place, if you stay there, Joy will find you. If we leave the place called faith, Joy will come to that place and not find us at home. Joy doesn’t come and go, we come and go.

Faith is sighting the future…Joy is experiencing that future first hand before getting into it materially.

Joy is the emotion that faith creates.

Joy is the tickle of the Spirit! It is a fragment of eternity’s excitement.

Joy is that moment when God causes you to share in His laughter by dropping Himself into your spirit!

Joy is predominantly a victor’s delight about the future God has created which makes you enjoy the future before others!

Joy is an outward expression of an inward experience. So, if your heart is full of faith, it will overflow in joy.

Joy isn’t always loud, sometimes it’s quiet.

Joy is a bandwidth all the way from quiet delight to extravagant rejoicing.

Joy births meditation, it can be quiet.

Joy can make your heart tender, and it can make it soar.

Joy is an outflow of depths and dimensions.

Joy is a permanent response to an obtained inheritance.

We don’t create Joy. We receive it.

Joy is an abstraction of eternity.

Joy is one of the most powerful ways to remain consistent in life. It grounds you, solidifies you and makes you positively predictable.

Joy is a constant line drawing a continuum in your journey, untouched by circumstances.

Joy gives you victory over grumbling and complaining.

Joy is not make believe.

Joy is reckless abandon.

Joy is how we can express the best of our womanhood. It is how we stay at peace in storms, submit in spite of our spouses’ failings, remain beautiful women even with a slim budget for our wardrobe, make the best of meals in spite of management of resources.

Joy is how we build a home everyone runs back to come into no matter what side of town we live; it is how we build a life that is beautiful to God and enjoyed by us.

Joy creates a force field so sweet!

Joy amplifies the goodness in our lives
And even helps us make fun of the odds. Because we truly feel above them

Receive Joy today. The Holy Spirit is a dispenser of Joy, come to Him today, He is a free flowing fountain.


Article by Funmi Owo (Culled from DDK’s teachings on Joy)

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“You must ensure you go to bed naked every night.”
Those were the words my marriage counsellor spoke to my fiancé (now husband) and I a few weeks before we got married. Of course, we giggled because we were sure she was talking about sex, and “holy” people like us did not want to talk about it. She then proceeded to explain further, as the deep woman she is, that it is more than being physically naked but being able to always bare it all with each other.
Marriage should be a safe place for a man and his wife to be naked and unashamed emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically.

The Man said, “Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh! Name her Woman for she was made from Man.” Therefore, a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh. The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame. – Genesis 2:23-25 (MSG)

The physical aspect of “nakedness” in marriage is quite easy but the other ones not so much. In fact, there can be a high level of sexual intimacy in marriage, while the level of openness is very low. I understand why people would not want to “expose themselves” to this man they’ve promised their lives to; because when you become naked in front of another, shame is the result when that person chooses to mock you based on what you just said.
How then can we let go of the fear and shame and embrace this deep vulnerability with our spouses?

Accept that God is good and that He loves you.

This should be like the easiest thing for a Christian but it isn’t. We believe God is good but sometimes we don’t believe He is good to us because something is “wrong” with us right now. Never accept the lie that God is not good; He is working out the issues of your life. The seasons of life cannot change the character of God.

Know the source of your strength.

It takes strength to be vulnerable as a woman especially emotionally and financially; well, it was for me. But please realize that you have a High Priest (that is, Jesus) who is in touch with you and knows how you feel. We know from the Bible that Jesus exposed Himself to humanity, because of our salvation, He chose to walk among us and be human. The source of your strength is the Holy Spirit and He is your ultimate covering; just as He was with Christ on earth, so He is with you always. Rest in Him.

Pray to receive God’s strategy for your marriage.

I was going to give you 5 ways to develop intimacy in marriage but you see, every marriage is unique and with its own purpose. What works for me might be disastrous for you.
As we have been repeatedly told in Deborah’s Initiative for Women (DIW), press into God and let Him give you His own strategy for your marriage. As you receive, act on it immediately – intimacy is not something that can be achieved overnight; it is a lifelong process of being increasingly at ease with each other without fear or shame.

Be kind to yourself and take responsibility.

So, you messed up last week and shame has its claws in you already; you hid the money that just dropped into your account or you’ve been having it good at work but you still need to guilt your husband into doing some things, so you refused to share. Do the needful – forgive yourself and then open up. Remember that your ultimate covering is God.

Reject the lies!!!

Immediately the two of them did “see what’s really going on”—saw themselves naked! They sewed fig leaves together as makeshift clothes for themselves. – Genesis 3:7(MSG)

Fear brings torment, it robs us of peace and pushes us into living an illusion. Adam and Eve believed a lie, they acted on the lie and saw that they did not need to be naked with each other anymore. These days we hear all sorts of crazy things and social media has exposed us to some of the most horrible marriages ever and some of us have started believing the lies, and we are hiding ourselves from our spouses.

The Word of God remains the standard for every aspect of our lives including our marriages.

Article Written by Olamide Adeyemi

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The sound of her cries made me shrink. I wished I could just hold my nose and disappear like the Rentaghost clan. Sigh! Not again! You mean you are hungry again? No one warned me of the pains that come with breast feeding; the sleepless nights, the fear of losing my entire being just to attend to a little helpless baby who fully depended on me for EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING!

My few tears soon became a heavy flow rolling down my cheeks as I fed my daughter, wishing she didn’t have to be fed so often, added to the pain of recuperating from childbirth and the sheer torture of this entire experience. I was overwhelmed, stressed and totally disconnected from everything.

The entire experience changed my perspective of my abilities (and my failures) in a way nothing had before then. I had the same concern that has bothered every mother from generation to generation — I think I am doing it all wrong. I questioned all my actions; felt I was either not doing enough or not giving myself enough, felt betrayed by my abilities to conquer all and do it perfectly without dropping the ball. As it were, it was as if I had dropped all the balls. With a deep sigh I said the dreaded words to myself “I think I am doing it all wrong”.

Looking down memory lane to when my Princess was still a baby, I have come to terms with reality and the need to embrace every phase of my journey as a Mother. Each milestone comes with its own unique and customized challenges, pains, tears, joy and laughter. My Motherhood Journey has taught me to: enjoy this adventurous journey, journal the outcomes of the lessons and embrace this amazing responsibility of Motherhood that has been designated to me.

Being a mother has enhanced all my sensory organs, making me transform like the Incredible Hulk. Don’t be deceived by my petite size as I transform to Superwoman within seconds of hearing my baby’s cry with my supersonic hearing, preventing dangers with my x-ray vision and catching my baby from falling with my superhuman speed, how about multitasking and eventually turning my two arms into the eight of an Octopus. Having a baby has unveiled so many hidden super powers that I never knew I had.

Over the years I have learnt many lessons that have been captured on the scroll of my heart, and eventually, have led me to enjoy the journey. A few are listed below:

When you think, ‘Am I doing things right?’ — Remember One size doesn’t fit all situations. People have their different opinions and often feel they are helping by verbalizing them out loud, trying to validate their choices and opinions. Super woman you get to decide what works best for you, your baby and your family. Do not run with the photocopy approach as your journey is totally different from the paths others have walked or presently walk.

When the grass seems greener on the other side — Focus on tending your own garden based on your own routine. Comparison will only make you feel overwhelmed and depressed, focus on working on your own routine to suit your own season.

Trust your intuition — When you are in doubt, reach out to a Doctor and absolutely switch off the need to go to the most famous Doctor, i.e. Google to get answers because a lot of information, some of which are widely exaggerated get tossed at you and eventually lead to panic mode. Darling, keep your sanity. You can research but confirm the symptoms from a Medical Doctor before activating panic mode.

Find your Tribe — Having a supportive tribe of experienced women whom you can cry to cannot be over emphasized. The freedom to absolutely surrender and be vulnerable, takes a whole lot of weight off your shoulders. The shared experiences is a huge vault for the rainy day.

Don’t be too proud to ask for help — Yes, it is a measure of pride, especially when you feel you can handle it all without the need for help. Having support is important. Do not under estimate how energizing an hour of sleep can be while someone watches over your precious one. Relax, breath and enjoy your time of rest. Yes, you can do it all but sometimes it is in taking out time to relax that you accomplish so much more.

Enjoy the journey, Superwoman — Soon, the dependent babies will be off on their individual paths. All you would have left are your memories. Savour the smiles, laughs, hugs and kisses from your little one. Soon it will be the last as they become too cool to be seen doing that.

Finally, enjoy some ME time — A movie, a sumptuous meal, a date, a book, a song. Absolutely make out time for you. Every Superwoman needs to be re-energized for the various adventures ahead.

I am so proud of all the experiences, memories and all the fun stuff that are yet to happen. When next you find yourself saying “I think I am doing it all wrong”, Smile, come back here and pick some of the above. Relax and enjoy the moment without being too hard on yourself.

#motherhood #mamatips #tools #diy #lifehacks #WomanCrushWednesday #wcw #deborahinitiativeforwomen


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Have you ever been in the wild?

Those seasons when God leads us into the wilderness to prune us, when He leads us into deep moments of intense waiting for the actualization of His promises. He paints beautiful pictures of the promised land in our hearts then ushers us into the wait. Moments when He steers us to the empty desert to show us, He is the true source of life.

In the wilderness, nothing seems to be growing and all the doors seem to be tightly shut against us but He feeds us with Himself, the true bread of life. There is undeniable proof of His presence and His love yet He shows us that not cars, money, jobs or marriage bring joy, that He is the one who truly beautifies and satisfies our soul.

“He humbled you and allowed you to be hungry and fed you with manna, [a substance] which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, so that He might make you understand [by personal experience] that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of the LORD.”‮‮DEUTERONOMY‬ ‮8:3‬ ‮AMP‬‬‬‬‬‬

Bread here refers to The Word that always proceeds from God, our true sustenance.
The promise land is weighty. So we do not become a people who put their hope in the prosperity and abundance at hand thus forgetting their God — if there are still cracks, poorly healed wounds and besetting sins like pride and constant comparison in our foundation that might make us collapse before our expected end— He uses moments like this to expose them, just like He did with the Israelites.

“And you shall remember [always] all the ways which the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, so that He might humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart (mind), whether you would keep His commandments or not.” DEUTERONOMY‬ ‮8:2‬ ‮AMP‬‬‬‬

In the wilderness, He demolishes the battered and broken building that is us so He can construct a beautiful palace, a masterpiece where He dwells. That He may plant gardens of lush flowers by flowing springs as He drains out bitter waters that have clogged up our souls

“For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God.”
‮‮HEBREWS‬ ‮3:4‬ ‮AMP‬‬‬‬‬‬

The wilderness is a place where God breaks us down till we lose our desires for earthly achievements and become consumed with the heavenly agenda. The fire of His Spirit burns away everything leaving only desire for Jesus and as we gaze intensely at him, we are daily changed into the same image.
The wilderness teaches us dependence; we come to the point where God wanted us from before the foundations of the world, completely surrendered to and reliant on Him. Since we have nothing of ourselves, He guides us with His light within us bringing light to everything around us. In moments where we can’t see what’s ahead, His voice gently and consistently guides us into the promise teaching us to walk by faith and not by sight. We learn our feelings have no place in the evaluation of our walk with God. We become more inner life conscious and unmoved by external circumstances.
These seasons are filled with joy when we realize how strong our Spiritual growth game is and the incomparable strength of character that is built in us. We know we’re being made into love, we’re losing the baggage that drags us down and we’re receiving His heart. What we lose cannot be compared to what we gain.

The stretching of our capacity and enlarging of our faith that happens in the wait is more important than the promise. This is because these are points of inexplicable personal transformation that keep us steady in the promised land and guide us even in the bigger promises. We are driven to our knees; desperate for Him, constantly waiting in the word and in prayer. We teach and encourage others even in the wilderness because that’s His will for us — to comfort others with the comfort we have received.
We find strength, courage and faith in the immutability of His word. His word will not fail, His word cannot be broken. His promises are surer than the sun rising every morning.
We know with unshakable certainty that we’ll have everything He has promised. When we come out of the wilderness, we come into divinely orchestrated alignments, extraordinary unbelievable abundance and because He trusts us, He knows we can handle it.

This is the emptying before the filling.
The breaking before the building.
The crushing that brings the sweetness of the new wine.
These are growing pains. Embrace the wilderness.
#GrowingInGrace #DeborahnitiativeForWomen #WildernessSeason #TheGreatCommission

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