June 2019

Fearless Giving Overcomes The Fear of Lack!

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“Give more generously till you overcome your fear for having nothing, or your greed for having more.”

One of our greatest fears is not having enough – or needing help and discovering that you lack sufficient resources. This fear is magnified when it relates to financial resources or other material things. This is why you may find your first instinct is to keep what you have instead of giving it to someone in need. Fact be told, it sounds counterintuitive to give generously when it looks like everything is falling apart or is going to fall apart. When you are afraid of the future or unsure about the present, your instinct is to do all that is possible to ensure a sense of security in your life. This is understandable.

However, this isn’t as much about the fear of losing material possessions as the fear of “giving” itself. Broadly speaking, there are two kinds of people – those that think in terms of abundance and the others that think in terms of lack. This is not referring to how much money they have in their bank accounts or how much assets they have in their name. It’s about a mindset. There are those that have trained themselves to see an abundance around them and there are others who cannot help but fear that whatever they have will not be enough. Therefore, they hoard or greedily accumulate more.

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How do you know what mindset you fall under? Do a quick self-check – In the past few weeks, have you been grateful for what you have, appreciative of others, been filled with a knowing that there is enough for everyone, celebrated other people, been generous, thought about how you can serve others and been truly happy? Or have you been ungrateful, judgmental of others, thought there was not enough to go round, jealous or envious of others, fearful and anxious, or mostly thinking “what is in it for me?”.

Perhaps from reading all that was just laid out, you can tell which category you fall into. If you find that you fall into the ‘lack’ mindset, determine today not to continue in it. Dear one, your life is worth more than the things you fear may not be enough. It is not worth it to continue living in fear of lack.

Recognize that you are loved and start to practice loving people. Dear woman, as you draw even closer to your heavenly Father, you’ll begin to see how He is enough for you. Even more, practice loving people by giving. This does not refer to giving money alone, your time too is valuable. Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due when it is in your power to act (Prov. 3:27). Give compliments, give smiles, give words of encouragement, give your talents. Give, what you have when you have it, and give thanks while at it. As you do these things intentionally, you’ll watch fear and greed melt away from your life. Give more generously till your overcome your fear for having nothing, or your greed for having more.

Article written by: Ifeoluwa Shoola

Citations: parameters for abundance or lack mentality culled from www.habitsforwellbeing.com

DIWPRTEAMFearless Giving Overcomes The Fear of Lack!
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FEAR IS NOT ON THE MENU

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The phone rang that Monday morning, I was at work, trying to send out an email at that point in time. I was quite busy but seeing that it was my sister on the line, I answered the call, held the phone to my ears with my shoulder and continued working on my laptop.
“Hello!!!” I said as cheerfully as my work environment would permit me at that time.
“Do you have a few minutes to talk please? I have a few questions to ask”, she said. There was a sense of urgency with which she spoke; this conversation was clearly not going to be that flowery, just-for-laughs type of phone call, she sounded quite bothered.
“Ehhhhrrrmmm! If you will just give me a few minutes, I am trying to send out an email. I can talk for a bit once I am done.” I answered.
She stayed on the line while I proof read the mail I had already typed and clicked send. I waited for a while to see that the mail had gone and there were no issues before I stood up from my seat to resume the phone call.
I stepped into a private space and then the conversation resumed. At this point of course, my heart was throbbing wildly, majorly from not knowing what to expect from the other end of the phone. She reeled out the first question and it was a direct one; that type that comes straight at you, leaving no room to hide in corners or be ‘politically correct’. It required an in-depth explanation and I wasn’t ready for it.
My first attempt at answering was a shoddy response wrapped up in big English. I prayed she would find it satisfactory and just move on to the next. Nope! Not my big Sister. She was not having it, she probed deeper and forced me to go through the painful mental journey of reliving an experience I didn’t want to, until she got all the information she required.
The first question progressed to the second and then on to many more that came in quick succession. Each question that was asked seemed like a knife was passing through me; personal, family related issues that I had to look in the face and dissect, against my consent. I hung up, but clearly, the telephone conversation left me all pensive and gloomy; it introduced doubts, fears, questions and uncertainties into my heart.
This is us a lot of times as we go through life; we are having a jolly good day, enjoying a significant measure of joy in our hearts, and then, boom! Someone, an event, a phone call, a situation, a thought or some other random stuff comes in and introduces fear into our hearts and then we lose our joy. Sometimes, we cannot discern so quickly that our joy is the target, and by the time we realise it, it’s too late, we are already victims, held captive in a joyless estate. We struggle and try to pull ourselves out of this frequency we have been ushered into; sometimes we succeed and get back into our joy-groove, other times we remain down, unable to find a way of escape.
In the simplest terms, fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm while joy on the other hand is simply described as a feeling of great pleasure and happiness; both fear and joy are feelings and they can be managed and regulated, depending on which you feed based on the diet you are on.
The Bible says that “God has NOT given you a Spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind.” This means that any fear you ever feel, beyond a reverential fear of God is not from God. Of the huge bounty that God has given you freely to enjoy, fear is NOT Listed. So, why take it when it is not an option? It is not part of your salvation package and should not be welcomed into your life for any reason at all. We often feel afraid when we have unanswered questions, feel pressured, have doubts, experience lack etc. and then our joy reserves are depleted. Regardless of what feeds our fear, we must recognize that God does not give fear. If God does not give fear, then we really have no business being afraid.
For every situation that you are currently dealing with that makes you afraid, take some time to go back to God’s Word and see the provisions that God has made for you in that regard and watch how joy will well up on your inside when you swap perspectives. For instance, you are always afraid of death, thinking something spooky will happen to you and you will be cut off in your prime. How about you internalizing and accepting the fact that God has promised to satisfy you with long life and show you his salvation? Doing this deliberately and consistently will up your joy reserves.
Whenever fear is being served you through the television, newspapers/blogs, family and friends etc., please pass on it, it’s not yours to receive.
Guard your heart and your joy fiercely this weekend.

Writer – Funmi Owo

DIWPRTEAMFEAR IS NOT ON THE MENU
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TO NAG OR NOT TO NAG!

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Portrait of mixed raced couple having relationship difficulties against white background

Portrait of mixed raced couple having relationship difficulties against white background

I felt like screaming out my lungs as I was tired of reiterating the same thing again and again. Why can’t we just be on the same frequency, why do I have to go high pitch while he stays on the low pitch frequency. This is so exasperating, gosh!
Have you ever had this type of communication with your spouse, where you feel you and your spouse are not on the same wave length as regards various matters? Have you ever wondered why you need to ask yourself the question, “to Nag or not to Nag”, especially when you feel nagging gets a lot of things done just because they do not want to keep hearing your voice in their heads.
Nagging, that age-old art of bugging — er, gently reminding — someone to do something over and over again, insinuates itself into most relationships. “It’s more common than adultery and potentially as toxic, so why is it so hard to stop nagging?”
Good question. Psychologists say it boils down to faith. One person fears the other won’t follow through, and that compels her to keep asking her partner to complete the task. Her partner, in turn, gets annoyed, which doesn’t make him incredibly likely to want to cooperate… and the cycle begins.
I know it’s hard to stop nagging, but you can’t possibly keep this up. Your home is supposed to be a sanctuary for all who dwell therein. You come in with your fussing, arguing and fighting and it takes away the sanctity within your household and automatically turns your home into a chaotic mess.
The question is: have you ever sat down to analyze what it truly means to communicate and ensure the entire purpose of communicating is fulfilled without getting to the tipping point of nagging? Well, I think it is important to plan ahead when we ask ourselves “to nag or not to nag…”

Here are a few tips to letting go of the urge to nag and letting love bloom in our marriages.
1. Pray, meditate and become one with yourself
Being one with yourself means that you are clear about your intentions and the kind of home you wish to build. One of peace, relief, fun and love…not tension, fights, accusation and nagging.
You have to be spiritually aware of the chaos that you are causing within your home and your relationship. All of that fussing and fighting is giving the Devil a VIP invite into your home. That’s why you should say a prayer over your home, open your door and escort the Devil right out.
2. You’re not right; you’re just angry
‘Nagging isn’t smart; it’s an expression of negative emotion’, says psychologist Robert Meyers. Though anger may be justified and borne out of serious concern for your partner—you should know one thing: Nagging doesn’t work.
3. To the person being nagged: Just do it!
News flash for those being nagged: it takes two to tango. If you’re annoyed that your partner won’t quit bugging you about picking up your wet towels after you shower, then here’s a suggestion: “Just do it,” says Nike. “I mean, if it is only going to take five minutes then what’s the point of fighting and bringing disharmony to the house?”

4. To the nagger: Let it go
Rather than rant and rave to your spouse or beloved one more time about leaving their clothes on the room floor, why not just pick them up and get on with your day? Is the hassle of another supercharged argument really worth its weight of clothes on the floor? Nope.
5. Enjoy your relationship
Stop trying to look for something wrong. Just take the time to appreciate each other. Life is too short to worry about the future mistakes that are yet to happen and too complicated to worry about the past mistakes. Do things that make both of you happy now, so that you can have happy memories later.
It’s an investment in positive emotion that will pay off. Building up a bank of positive [emotion] is really important to relationships. We make the analogy to a bank account where if you’ve got a lot of money in the bank, pulling out some thousands isn’t going to hurt. But if you don’t, pulling out One Thousand Naira is really going to hurt.”
6. Breathe
Whenever the unforeseen comes up, just take a deep breath. Your spouse didn’t take the trash out like you asked him to. Instead he’s lying in bed sleeping like a baby. Breathe and take the trash out yourself and don’t say anything. When he gets up looking for the overflowing garbage can, he finds a nice note instead. “Hey Babe, you were sleeping so well, I took the trash out for you. Get your rest. I’ll make dinner when I get home. Love You!”
Sit back and watch his reaction. If you change, then so will he. Just like Sir Isaac Newton said, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”. You just may come home to a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a wonderfully made dinner.
7. Stay active
Keep yourself busy with fun activities you enjoy, family and friends. You do this so that you’re not at home worried about what he’s doing when the two of you are not together. An idle mind is the devil’s playground, so stay positively busy.

8. Have some fun, Mr. and Mrs. Smith!
If you and your partner are bickering and fighting more than laughing and talking, do something radical and productive: have fun together. Forget about crumbs, damp towels, not taking out the trash and reconnect with one another as loving partners in a relationship rather than as irritated roommates.
9. Communicate!
Wow, right?! There are couples who’ve been together for years and they don’t communicate. They talk and do fun things together, but they don’t communicate. The misconception is that talking and communicating is the same thing. Wrong! One has a deeper meaning than the other. To talk is to engage in speech. To communicate is to share or exchange information, views and ideas. I can talk to a dog, but the way we communicate is by actions. We need both in order to understand each other. If you’re in a relationship where you spend more time arguing than actually communicating, then this is a real problem that needs to get fixed immediately. You have to be open to receiving and understanding what the other person has to say.
Close your mouth, open your ears and listen. Seek to understand rather than to be understood. Don’t be on the defensive every time.
When next you get to a point of “to nag or not to nag”, take a deep breath and ask yourself if at the end of the day, the result from nagging is really worth it.

Writer – Olusola Amu

DIWPRTEAMTO NAG OR NOT TO NAG!
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BE CAREFUL OF WHO YOU ARE BECOMING

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Hey Gorgeous Mom,

How are you and your munchkins doing today? How is motherhood going for you? Sure you are staying committed to always give it your best and leaning on God’s grace for success?

Today, let’s talk about your person, who you are and the potential of what you might become in your motherhood journey. It is a great privilege to have little humans to care for, nurture, protect, train and guide. As much as this can be overwhelming at times, it is also fulfilling to see our children happy. The smiles on their faces energize our tired bodies and fuel our desires to be there for them. Beyond the day to day activities of mothering your children, it is very imperative that you give attention to who you are and even who you are becoming as this impacts greatly on all you do as a mother and ultimately on your children.

Many women didn’t set out to be moms with any negative behavioral pattern, and most certainly many had formed a mental image of the loving, caring, protective, organized, well-mannered mothers they’d be. But as they lived life one day after another, they almost couldn’t live up to their mummy goals because of who they had become as mothers. You see, our upbringing and pre-motherhood experiences have great influences on who we may become as mothers, the resultant effects are a mix of good and bad; some we can easily identify and some find expressions as reactions to situations and demands. I remember an aunt who said she grew up in a family where proper hygiene was far reaching and she had made up her mind to give her husband and children proper hygiene routine in her home. She can’t afford to be that mother whose children can’t know by sight, what a clean environment, water, food, and clothes means. Some women are constantly bitter and angry because of past experiences with their relatives, friends, allies, colleagues, church folks and this emotion came with them into motherhood. Some are just disorganized, untidy and messy; some do not have the habits of praying and being spiritually minded, some are laid-back in task execution, some do not know how to show initiative, creativity or resourcefulness, some have bad personal values, some saw their parents relate badly with people in public places, some mothers are not accommodating in their homes so no one can live with them etc. And there are women who picked up character defects while in motherhood and you find them saying,” I haven’t always been like this”.

Dear beautiful mom, when people see your children, they’d know the kind of mother you are. I know you want to be the best mother possible to your children and you are striving at this every day. The very reason you are being urged to be careful who you are becoming is for posterity sake. It is highly important to note that prior and current experiences can shape you into a kind of person tomorrow. What kind will it be? Regardless of how you were raised by your mom, your childhood, teenage or adulthood experiences, the many disappointments and let-downs you’ve had, the manner in which your first family was ran, you have the ultimate decision of what and who you become as a mother.
Posterity isn’t only about wealth; it is so much more about the values and great character we pass on to our children, the mind wholeness and individual completeness they get from us. Pastor Tunde Bakare would always refer to his children as the letter to the future he wouldn’t see. What this means is that after we are long gone at full age, our children would carry on the kind of message we have always preached, the kind of persons we were, the kind of live we lived. So, it puts a great responsibility on us to write good letters to that future so that generations after would know who we were even though they didn’t meet us physically.

So, dear mom, what character defects do you have to deal with so you can become a better person? Your children will take these batons from you and carry them on if not dealt with. May it not be said of you that you handed over batons full of negatives to your children. At the very heart of personal development are constant self awareness, evaluation and change. I urge you to do constant deep introspection every day and be intentional about it. What character flaws can you see in yourself, what bad habits have you engaged in, what is your daily living like? What are your mummy goals and how close are you to achieving them? These questions will keep the eyes of your heart open and alert to always take redress when necessary.

Remember, as you journey on in your motherhood, when we say be careful who you are becoming. It is for posterity sake. Grace to you in Jesus name.

 

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Writer: Adenike Leke-Akinbode

DIWPRTEAMBE CAREFUL OF WHO YOU ARE BECOMING
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ARE YOU A GOD LOVER

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“Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God’s Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God. We know it so well, we’ve embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God. God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us….”
(1 John 4:15-17 MSG)

Many of us have, at one point or the other in our lives, asked ourselves this question: “How can I develop a deeper intimacy with God?”

A few weeks ago, a charge on Spiritual Maturity was shared on the DIW Telegram group and some parts of the message stuck with me.
“intensely crave the pure spiritual milk of God’s word”
“craving has to be backed up with action”
“we refuse to graduate when we become dull in hearing, when we relegate the Holy Spirit to the backbench of our lives.”
“we’ve been believers for 20 years but spiritually, we are 6 months old”.
The last one hit me hard. I pictured a 20-year-old girl staring into a mirror and seeing a 6 months old baby. Not an endearing sight, I must say.

I believe it is safe to say that all believers desire to have an intimate relationship with God. However, what sets apart the few from the multitude is not the mere desire alone, but desire backed with action.

It is not enough to moan and sigh deeply each day saying:
“God, I really want an intimate relationship with you. I crave it. I have very good intentions but lack the willpower to carry it through. Why do I find it so hard to do this? What am I doing wrong and how can I make it better?”
God hears this, shakes his head sadly and says: “You find it difficult because you are not yet my Lover!”
You may wonder – How can God say that when that is all I want to be? I serve him in various capacities in church, I read my bible in the morning and pray at night, I attend all church services and I even pay my tithe and offerings!

What does it mean to be God’s lover?
Have you ever been in love? I’m sure most of us have. You will agree with me that you always wanted to be in the presence of your beloved. You talked about everything – no matter how insignificant. You shared your dreams, visions, fears and goals with your beloved. You were in a state of constant communication.
Now, replace your beloved with God for a moment.
Can you say without a doubt that you communicate as frequently with God as you do with your beloved? Do you find it exciting studying his Word or meditating on them? Do you countdown throughout the day to your special hangout time with God? Do you talk to him throughout the day and share ALL with him – both the mundane and important things? When do you tell him about your worries? Is it when you are overwhelmed and have tried to resolve them on your own, or do you carry him along every step of the way? Do you compartmentalize God or do you give him free rein into every sphere of your life?

Today, take an inventory of how you spent your time over the past week. How much of it did you spend watching movies, funny videos, gisting with friends, surfing the internet, reading the latest gossip on Instablog? How much time did you spend on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp et al? Netflix, anyone?

One of the most important tools for building healthy relationships is said to be “Effective Communication”. Communication is a two-way street which involves how we send messages and how we receive messages. Most of us have no problem with sending messages to God, our issue is receiving messages from Him because we do not know how to listen.

God wants to speak to us! He has heard enough of our own voice and it would be a welcome change to be heard too. If we truly seek an intimate relationship with God – if we intensely crave it, we will back up our cravings with action.

“… And don’t for a minute let this Book of the Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed” (Joshua 1:8) [emphasis mine]
Ponder…
Meditate…
Practice…

The best medium through which God can speak to us is through His Word! The Word is His Voice. It is God’s love letter to mankind. Toss aside the idea that when God is speaking to you, you must get goosebumps or the words will practically jump off the pages of the Bible. God speaks to us through his Word and he invites us to find him through His Word. As we seek him, our minds are quietly transformed and we become more and more like God.

So, is God your lover? Put your money where your mouth is. Act today. Commit to spending quality time with God. Take a break from the noise around you. Put that phone down. Instead of reaching for your phone first thing in the morning, reach for your bible! Talk to God all through your day – don’t leave him out! Give Him a chance to talk back – Listen. Participate continuously in the intimate relationship with God that began when you gave your life to Him.

To conclude, Romans 8: 38-39 tells us that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Jesus loves us therefore “…I’m absolutely convinced that nothing – nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable- absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.”

Writer – Tomilola Adebiyi

DIWPRTEAMARE YOU A GOD LOVER
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6 WAYS TO END YOUR CAREER

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You are probably asking yourself, “Am I reading right or did the author make an error with the topic of this post?”. Well, friends, I assure you that you read that right! This post is all about six great ways to ruin your promising career!

We all read about the steps to a successful career, tips to excel in your career, the best ways to climb up the ladder and how to sit at the table but we hardly read about how we can completely ruin a carefully crafted career that has taken us months or even years to build.
It is highly important to understand the negative impacts that our decisions and attitudes can have towards different aspects of our lives, as this will ensure that we are more deliberate with our actions.
Let’s go straight to finding out these great ways through which we can end our careers within the blink of an eye.

1. Be Incompetent: Cambridge Dictionary defines ‘incompetence’ as “lacking the skills or knowledge to do a job or perform an action correctly or to a satisfactory standard”. One way to ensure your incompetence is to stop learning, developing your skill set and deliberating failing to pay attention to your professional and personal growth.

Failure to master your chosen field and shying away from learning will eventually lead to a down turn in your career. You become obsolete and tagged as ‘not to be trusted with sensitive work’. Your superiors become reluctant to assign tasks to you as you have proven not to be a value-adding individual.

2. Timidity and Self-Doubt: I recently watched a movie titled “Happily Ever After” starring Sanaa Lathan, she cut off all her hair and carried herself in an awkward manner, losing her entire self-esteem. She was great in her career before the haircut, but her self-doubt afterwards ruined her presentation to the board – the same presentation that she had presented to the Management staff and received a lot of accolades. She however got the best advice from a Cancer support group after a case of mistaken identity as a Cancer victim – she was advised to own the new look and carry herself high. She took the advice and got back on her feet, smashing her deliverables.
Doubt magnifies every hurdle you face by a hundred times. Every path other than the one you took seems better but only till you choose it. You can be very competent but if you are not willing to speak out based on your knowledge; you will not be invited to sit at the table. So, “OWN IT” darling.

3. Miscommunication: Failure to communicate effectively is one of the best way to lose anything. Good communication skills are key to success in life, work and relationships. Without effective communication skills, a well-meaning message can be misinterpreted by the recipient, leading to error, misunderstanding, frustration, or even a total breakdown of the work relationship. The inability to communicate effectively will hold you back not only in your career, but also in your social and personal relationships.

4. Lack of Consistency: The best way to lose the trust of anyone is to be inconsistent, you show to the other person that you cannot be trusted with any task. Erratic tactics indicate an unsure mind. Ask yourself, will you trust someone who is double minded?
5. Lack of Integrity: Integrity has to do with “the state of being whole, complete, undivided, undiminished or standing up regardless of the situation.” Integrity applies to many facets of our lives. The act of not straying from the path of honesty will build the strength of character and also strengthen your professional credibility, which is of utmost importance.

6. Bad Attitude: Have you heard the employers say “I will rather hire an inexperienced individual who has a great attitude over an individual who has all the experience with a bad attitude”. Bring on the bad attitude and get yourself out of the door.

DIWPRTEAM6 WAYS TO END YOUR CAREER
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